Between Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose;
The spectacles set them, unhappily, wrong;
The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,
To whom the said spectacles ought to belong.
So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause,
With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning,
While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws,—...
We are little airy creatures,
All of different voice and features;
One of us in glass is set,
One of us you ’ll find in jet,
T’other you may see in tin,
And the fourth a box within;
If the fifth you should pursue,
It can never fly from you.
Home of the Percys’ high-born race,
Home of their beautiful and brave,
Alike their birth and burial place,
Their cradle and their grave!
Still sternly o’er the castle gate
Their house’s Lion stands in state,
As in his proud departed hours;
And warriors frown in stone on high,
And feudal banners “flout the sky”
...
Thou shalt have one God only: who
Would be at the expense of two?
No graven images may be
Worshipped, save in the currency.
Swear not at all; since for thy curse
Thine enemy is none the worse.
At church on Sunday to attend
Will serve to keep the world thy friend:
Honor thy parents; that is, all
From whom advancement may...
They ’ve got a bran new organ, Sue,
For all their fuss and search;
They ’ve done just as they said they ’d do,
And fetched it into church.
They ’re bound the critter shall be seen,
And on the preacher’s right,
They ’ve hoisted up their new machine
In everybody’s sight.
They ’ve got a chorister and choir,
Ag’in my...
Air: “o Mary, heave a sigh for me.”
O MARE æva si forme;
Forme ure tonitru;
Iambicum as amandum,
Olet Hymen promptu;
Mihi is vetas an ne se,
As humano erebi;
Olet mecum marito te,
Or eta beta pi.
Alas, plano more meretrix,
Mi ardor vel uno;
Inferiam ure artis base,
Tolerat me urebo....
There was a lady lived at Leith,
A lady very stylish, man;
And yet, in spite of all her teeth,
She fell in love with an Irishman—
A nasty, ugly Irishman,
A wild, tremendous Irishman,
A tearing, swearing, thumping, bumping, ranting, roaring Irishman.
His face was no ways beautiful,
For with small-pox ’t was scarred...
Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden:
“Bedad, yer a bad ’un!
Now turn out yer toes!
Yer belt is unhookit,
Yer cap is on crookit,
Ye may not be dhrunk,
But, be jabers, ye look it!
Wan—two!
Wan—two!
Ye monkey-faced divil, I ’ll jolly ye through!
Wan—two!—...
Der noble Ritter Hugo
Von Schwillensanfenstein
Rode out mit shpeer und helmet,
Und he coom to de panks of de Rhine.
Und oop dere rose a meermaid,
Vot hadn’t got nodings on,
Und she say, “O, Ritter Hugo,
Vare you goes mit yourself alone?”
Und he says, “I ride in de creen-wood,
Mit helmet and mit shpeer,...
Hans Breitmann gife a barty,
Dey had biano-blayin;
I felled in lofe mit a Merican frau,
Her name was Madilda Yane.
She had haar as prown ash a pretzel,
Her eyes vas himmel-plue,
Und ven dey looket indo mine,
Dey shplit mine heart in two.
Hans Breitmann gife a barty,
I vent dere you ’ll pe pound.
I...
