Robinson Crusoe

    the night was thick and hazy     When the Piccadilly Daisy Carried down the crew and captain in the sea;     And I think the water drowned ’em,     For they never, never found ’em, And I know they did n’t come ashore with me.     Oh! ’twas very sad and lonely     When I found myself the only Population on this cultivated shore;     But I ’ve made a little tavern     In a rocky little cavern, And I sit and watch for people at the door.     I spent no time in looking     For a girl to do my cooking, As I ’m quite a clever hand at making stews;     But I had that fellow Friday     Just to keep the tavern tidy, And to put a Sunday polish on my shoes.     I have a little garden     That I ’m cultivating lard in, As the things I eat are rather tough and dry;     For I live on toasted lizards,     Prickly pears, and parrot gizzards, And I ’m really very fond of beetle-pie.     The clothes I had were furry,     And it made me fret and worry When I found the moths were eating off the hair;     And I had to scrape and sand ’em,     And I boiled ’em and I tanned ’em, Till I got the fine morocco suit I wear.     I sometimes seek diversion     In a family excursion With the few domestic animals you see;     And we take along a carrot     As refreshments for the parrot, And a little can of jungleberry tea.     Then we gather as we travel     Bits of moss and dirty gravel, And we chip off little specimens of stone;     And we carry home as prizes     Funny bugs of handy sizes, Just to give the day a scientific tone.     If the roads are wet and muddy     We remain at home and study,— For the Goat is very clever at a sum,—     And the Dog, instead of fighting,     Studies ornamental writing, While the Cat is taking lessons on the drum.     We retire at eleven,     And we rise again at seven; And I wish to call attention, as I close,     To the fact that all the scholars     Are correct about their collars, And particular in turning out their toes.