Dow’s Flat

1856 DOW’S Flat. That ’s its name. And I reckon that you Are a stranger? The same? Well, I thought it was true, For thar isn’t a man on the river as can’t spot the place at first view. It was called after Dow,— Which the same was an ass; And as to the how Thet the thing kem to pass,— Just tie up your hoss to that buckeye, and sit ye down here in the grass. You see this yer Dow Hed the worst kind of luck; He slipped up somehow On each thing thet he struck. Why, ef he ’d straddled thet fence-rail the derned thing ’ed get up and buck. He mined on the bar Till he couldn’t pay rates; He was smashed by a car When he tunnelled with Bates; And right on top of his trouble kem his wife and five kids from the States. It was rough,—mighty rough; But the boys they stood by, And they brought him the stuff For a house, on the sly; And the old woman,—well, she did washing, and took on when no one was nigh. But this yer luck of Dow’s Was so powerful mean That the spring near his house Dried right up on the green; And he sunk forty feet down for water, but nary a drop to be seen. Then the bar petered out, And the boys wouldn’t stay; And the chills got about, And his wife fell away; But Dow, in his well, kept a peggin’ in his usual ridikilous way. One day,—it was June,— And a year ago, jest,— This Dow kem at noon To his work like the rest, With a shovel and pick on his shoulder, and a derringer hid in his breast. He goes to the well, And he stands on the brink, And stops for a spell Jest to listen and think: For the sun in his eyes, (jest like this, sir!) you see, kinder made the cuss blink. His two ragged gals In the gulch were at play, And a gownd that was Sal’s Kinder flapped on a bay: Not much for a man to be leavin’, but his all,—as I ’ve heer’d the folks say. And—that ’s a peart hoss Thet you ’ve got—ain’t it now? What might be her cost? Eh? Oh!—Well then, Dow— Let ’s see,—well, that forty-foot grave wasn’t his, sir, that day, anyhow. For a blow of his pick Sorter caved in the side, And he looked and turned sick, Then he trembled and cried. For you see the dern cuss had struck—“Water?”—beg your parding, young man, there you lied! It was gold,—in the quartz, And it ran all alike; And I reckon five oughts Was the worth of that strike; And that house with coopilow ’s his’n,—which the same isn’t bad for a Pike. Thet ’s why it ’s Dow’s Flat; And the thing of it is That he kinder got that Through sheer contrairiness: For ’t was water the derned cuss was seekin’, and his luck made him certain to miss. Thet ’s so. Thar ’s your way To the left of yon tree; But—a—look h’yur, say, Won’t you come up to tea? No? Well, then the next time you ’re passin’; and ask after Dow,—and thet ’s me.

Collection: 
1859
Sub Title: 
Humorous Poems: II. Miscellaneous

More from Poet

  • Popularly Known as “The Heathen Chinee” WHICH I wish to remark— And my language is plain— That for ways that are dark And for tricks that are vain, The heathen Chinee is peculiar: Which the same I would rise to explain. Ah Sin was his name; And I shall not deny In regard to the same...

  • I Reside at Table Mountain, and my name is Truthful James: I am not up to small deceit or any sinful games; And I ’ll tell in simple language what I know about the row That broke up our Society upon the Stanislow. But first I would remark, that ’t is not a proper plan For any scientific gent...

  • 1856 DOW’S Flat. That ’s its name. And I reckon that you Are a stranger? The same? Well, I thought it was true, For thar isn’t a man on the river as can’t spot the place at first view. It was called after Dow,— Which the same was an ass...

  • Jim

    Say there! P’r’aps Some on you chaps Might know Jim Wild? Well,—no offence: Thar ain’t no sense In gettin’ riled! Jim was my chum Up on the Bar: That ’s why I come Down from up thar, Lookin’ for Jim. Thank ye, sir! you Ain’t of that crew,— Blest if you are! Money?—Not much: That...

  • A Geological Address “A human skull has been found in California, in the pliocene formation. This skull is the remnant, not only of the earliest pioneer of this State, but the oldest known human being…. The skull was found in a shaft one hundred and fifty feet deep, two miles from Angel’s, in...