The Man in the Moon

Said the Raggedy Man on a hot afternoon, “My! Sakes! What a lot o’ mistakes Some little folks makes on the Man in the Moon! But people that ’s been up to see him like Me, And calls on him frequent and intimutly, Might drop a few hints that would interest you Clean! Through! If you wanted ’em to— Some actual facts that might interest you! “O the Man in the Moon has a crick in his back; Whee! Whimm! Ain’t you sorry for him? And a mole on his nose that is purple and black; And his eyes are so weak that they water and run If he dares to dream even he looks at the sun,— So he jes’ dreams of stars, as the doctors advise— My! Eyes! But isn’t he wise— To jes’ dream of stars, as the doctors advise? “And the Man in the Moon has a boil on his ear— Whee! Whing! What a singular thing! I know! but these facts are authentic, my dear,— There ’s a boil on his ear; and a corn on his chin,— He calls it a dimple,—but dimples stick in,— Yet it might be a dimple turned over, you know! Whang! Ho! Why certainly so!— It might be a dimple turned over, you know! “And the Man in the Moon has a rheumatic knee, Gee! Whizz! What a pity that is! And his toes have worked round where his heels ought to be. So whenever he wants to go North he goes South, And comes back with the porridge crumbs all round his mouth, And he brushes them off with a Japanese fan, Whing! Whann! What a marvellous man! What a very remarkably marvellous man! “And the Man in the Moon,” sighed the Raggedy Man, “Gits! So! Sullonesome, you know! Up there by himself since creation began!— That when I call on him and then come away, He grabs me and holds me and begs me to stay,— Till—well, if it was n’t for Jimmy-cum-Jim, Dadd! Limb! I ’d go pardners with him! Jes’ jump my bob here and be pardners with him!”