A Place under Government
Was all that Paddy wanted.
He married soon a scolding wife,
And thus his wish was granted.
-
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Saint Anthony at church
Was left in the lurch,
So he went to the ditches
And preached to the fishes;
They wriggled their tails,
In the sun glanced their scales.The carps, with their spawn,
Are all hither drawn;
Have opened their jaws,
Eager for each clause.
No sermon beside
Had the carps so... -
From “Percy’s Reliques”
AN ANCIENT story I ’ll tell you anon
Of a notable prince that was called King John;
And he ruled England with main and with might,
For he did great wrong, and maintained little right.And I ’ll tell you a story, a story so merry,
Concerning the Abbot of Canterbury;
How for his house-keeping and high renowne,... -
IN 1 good King Charles’s golden days,
When loyalty no harm meant,
A zealous high-churchman was I,
And so I got preferment.
To teach my flock I never missed:
Kings were by God appointed,
And lost are those that dare resist
Or touch the Lord’s anointed.
And this is law that I ’ll maintain
Until my dying day... -
I ’LL 1 sing you a good old song,
Made by a good old pate,
Of a fine old English gentleman
Who had an old estate,
And who kept up his old mansion
At a bountiful old rate;
With a good old porter to relieve
The old poor at his gate,
Like a fine old English gentleman
All of the olden time.His hall so old...
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I Don’t appwove this hawid waw;
Those dweadful bannahs hawt my eyes;
And guns and dwums are such a baw,—
Why don’t the pawties compwamise?Of cawce, the twoilet has its chawms;
But why must all the vulgah cwowd
Pawsist in spawting unifawms,
In cullahs so extwemely loud?And then the ladies, pwecious deahs!—
I... -
Respected Wife: By these few lines my whereabouts thee ’ll learn:
Moreover, I impart to thee my serious concern.
The language of this people is a riddle unto me;
For words with them are figments of a reckless mockery.
For instance, as I left the cars, a youth with smutty face
Said, “Shine?” “Nay I ’ll not shine,” I said, “except with inward grace.”... -
A Centipede was happy quite,
Until a frog in fun
Said, “Pray, which leg comes after which?”
This raised her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in the ditch
Considering how to run. -
I Loved him in my dawning years—
Far years, divinely dim;
My blithest smiles, my saddest tears,
Were evermore for him.
My dreaming when the day began,
The latest thought I had,
Was still some little loving plan
To make my darling glad.They deemed he lacked the conquering wiles,
That other children wear;... -
From Punch’s Poetical Cookery Book
Roasted Sucking-Pig
AIR.—“Scots wha hae.”COOKS who ’d roast a sucking-pig,
Purchase one not over big;
Coarse ones are not worth a fig;
So a young one buy.
See that he is scalded well
(That is done by those who sell,
Therefore on that point to dwell
Were absurdity)....